


A Halfway Happily Ever After

by toad_in_the_road



Series: Oh, Your Love Is Sunlight [2]
Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon), Tangled (2010)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, F/F, Female Eugene Fitzherbert, Female Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider, Gender or Sex Swap, Genderbending, God i cannot believe i am writing more gay shit, Hurt/Comfort, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Female Character, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian Character, Let them say fuck, Magic, Mutual Pining, No One Is Doing Well, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Post-Tangled (2010), Sappho (fl. 600 BCE) Poetry, Spoilers for Tangled: The Series, Swearing, We love our angst!!!!, im gay, social classes, technically you don't need to read the first book but you should, there's so much gay angst it's obnoxious, we need more social class conflict that shit is good, wlw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:28:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26203453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toad_in_the_road/pseuds/toad_in_the_road
Summary: Set in Tangled: Before Ever AfterEileen Fitzherbert likes to think she is adjusting fairly well to life in the castle, no longer under the pressure to fight to survive.And even if Rapunzel only loves her as a friend, she's happy. She really is, and she really likes the peace and quiet.Peace and quiet that is abruptly shattered right before Rapunzel's coronation.
Relationships: Cassandra & Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider (Disney), Cassandra & Rapunzel (Disney: Tangled), Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider & Rapunzel, Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider/Rapunzel, Queen Arianna of Corona/King Frederic of Corona (Disney)
Series: Oh, Your Love Is Sunlight [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1901458
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	A Halfway Happily Ever After

**Author's Note:**

> ahahaha i really like writing this. i dont think ive ever really done romance before, or at least not where romance is the central point. i think im doing okay. am i doing okay?

**_love is a cunning weaver of fantasies and fables_ **

**_-Sappho_ **

*** *** ***

The sun was shining brightly, and Eileen Fitzherbert squinted when it went directly into her eyes.

Maximus was running full speed, and over uneven ground, so it was difficult to keep her seat, but she thought she was managing it well. 

“They’re gaining on us!” Rapunzel shouted, glancing behind her at the approaching guards. “And there’s more of them.”

“It’ll keep things interesting.” Eileen said, turning around to wave sarcastically at the pursuing guards. Maximus jumped over a log, nearly unseating her in the process.

“Christ, they’re persistent.” Eileen said.

“So am I,” Rapunzel said. “Meet you at the wall!” She nudged her brown mare, Fidella, who sped up, running up a narrow hill.

“That sounded like a challenge!” Eileen shouted up to her.

“Think you can keep up?”

“Oh, it’s not me you need to worry about.” Eileen grinned, glancing at the approaching guard, mere yards behind Rapunzel. Rapunzel turned, looking surprised to see them. Eileen steered Maximus off away from her. “Have fun!”

She grinned to herself, pleased, but paused when she heard the thundering of hooves behind, and looked back to see the captain of the guard chasing her, a scowl on his face. (Although, he did always seem to have a scowl).

“Oh, dear Lord…” She grumbled. She turned back forward and shrieked. “Log log log!” She shouted, seeing a fallen tree directly at her eye level. 

She stood up carefully, jumping the log, and somehow managed to land back on Maximus without breaking any bones. “Ha!” She said, glancing back to see the captain copy her exact move. The other guard tried as well, but his horse jolted to a stop, unseating him. 

The captain approached, reaching out for Eileen. “You’re not getting away this time-hey!” His horse reared when Rapunzel popped out from the brush, now side by side with Eileen. 

“Ha!” Eileen said, but sighed deeply when more guards appeared. “Christ, are they just waiting for us to pass?!” She asked.

They came upon a thin river, and Eileen nudged Maximus to go faster. Somehow, he did, and he pushed off of the riverbank, soaring through the air, landing with a thud on the other side, along with Rapunzel. 

Eileen heard a splash, and she pulled Maximus to a stop to turn. The captain had tried to follow them, but his horse had stopped at the riverbank, throwing him in. Eileen couldn’t resist a grin. “Need a towel?” She asked innocently. 

The captain glowered at her, and Eileen laughed as Maximus cantered leisurely after Rapunzel, meeting her at the massive border purple wall. She was already on top of it, looking out over the endless countryside. She glanced down when she heard Eileen approach. “I won.”

“You did not,” Eileen protested. “Maximus let you win.” 

Maximus snorted at this accusation, and Eileen slid off of him, shrugging. “We all know it’s true. Give me a hand getting up there, would you?”

Rapunzel leaned down, grabbing Eileen’s hand and pulling her up. “Thanks.” She stood up, looking out over the country.

“Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?” Rapunzel asked.

Eileen shrugged, sitting down on the wall. _Yes._

“Game’s over, Your Highness,” An irritated voice said. “The welcoming ceremony is about to begin.” 

Eileen glanced back, smiling when she saw the soaking captain. “Oh, good. I was afraid all that gold colored armor was going to weigh you down.” Over the past six months, Eileen and the guards were mostly on good terms, but...well, Eileen figured she deserved to torment them a little for the whole ‘almost hanging her’ incident.

The captain scowled. Eileen chuckled. “Eh, he’s right. We should get back before they get mad at me again.”

“My parents do not get mad at you, Eileen.” Rapunzel said.

“No. They just get testy. Your dad still scares me.” Eileen said.

“He’s a softie.” Rapunzel said, climbing down the wall.

“Whatever you say.” Eileen said.

Rapunzel hopped on Fidella, grinning at Eileen. “Race you back!” She took off. 

“What?! That’s not fair!”

*** *** ***

“Oh, great,” Eileen said as they entered the town. “It’s her.”

“Be nice.” Rapunzel scolded, waving to the young woman in a light blue dress. 

“I’m always nice. She’s just a grade-A bitch.” Eileen muttered to herself.

“Oh, finally,” Cassandra said, rushing up to Rapunzel. “You’re back. There’s so much to do. We have the welcome ceremony tonight, and then festival tomorrow, and-”

“And then the royal banquet, and then the actual coronation,” Eileen interrupted, leaning over. “I can probably quote you word for word on the whole speech about how important this is.”

Cassandra glanced at Eileen. “Didn’t see you there, Ellie.”

Eileen gave a tight smile. “Don’t know why you can’t remember, Cassandra, but it’s Eileen. Especially to you.”

“I think it’s sweet.” Rapunzel volunteered.

“Yeah, and that’s the problem,” Eileen sighed, sliding off Maximus. “You go ahead, I’m sure I’ll run into you later tonight.” 

Rapunzel smiled, climbing off of Fidella as well, waving to Eileen as she allowed herself to be dragged away by Cassandra. Eileen sighed, turning to Maximus. “Christ Almighty, now I gotta go get chased around by a bunch of old women with makeup brushes. I hate these events.”

Maximus snorted, a scolding. “I know, I know. It’s for Rapunzel. Moral support, or whatever.” She ran her hands through her hair. She had been trying to grow it out a bit, recently, and in the last six months it just barely brushed her shoulders. It was annoying though, strands always getting in her face, so she generally kept it in a scruffy half bun, letting a few strands act as pseudo-bangs to hide her scar. 

Eileen groaned. “Fuck, they’ll make me wear a dress again!”

*** *** ***

She stood among the crowd of royals and nobility, feeling distinctly out of place, looking at Rapunzel and her parents standing on the steps of the palace to greet the guests as they entered. Rapunzel caught Eileen’s eyes among the crowd and smiled. Eileen waved slightly. 

Rapunzel waved back excitedly, standing on her tiptoes. Eileen grimaced, waving her hands in a ‘stop’ motion, but Rapunzel seemed to take it the opposite way, and waved more, only stopping when she noticed her parents’ glances.

Eileen sighed. 

It only seemed to go downhill from there, each guest seeming to either find Rapunzel annoying or downright strange, with Rapunzel getting her hopes up of making a good impression each time, only to be let down roughly. It was getting hard to watch. 

“I don’t think we’ve met.” A thick voice said behind Eileen. She turned, surprised to see an old woman covered in white makeup, the kind she heard ate away at your face if you wore too much. She looked Eileen up and down, fanning herself lazily. 

“Uh, no. I would have remembered meeting you,” Eileen said, and then remembering she was supposed to be polite to the bourgeoisie now, she sighed and forced herself to smile. “Eileen. And you are…?”

“Eileen what?” The woman asked.

“I-oh! Ah,” Eileen shifted on the balls of her feet, having dreaded this conversation. “I’m, uh, not noble.”

“A servant in such fine clothes?” The woman asked, looking confused and slightly insulted.

Eileen’s smile felt tight. “No. Just a friend of Princess Rapunzel. Her plus-one, I guess you could say.”

The woman’s eyes flicked up and down Eileen lazily, and she felt oddly exposed. “That explains a lot then.” She said.

“What’s that supposed to mean-” Eileen turned when she heard someone laugh, and saw another noblewoman walking away from a crushed looking Rapunzel, laughing. Laughing at Rapunzel.

Eileen turned back, but the other woman was already gone. 

She took a breath, trying to focus. Blowing up and cursing out the nobility-as much fun as that would be-would only make things worse for Rapunzel. And she was here for Rapunzel. No one else. 

Even so, a small smile crept upon her face as she imagined herself telling that woman that a damned commoner knew her face was full of holes under all that white paint.

*** *** ***

“So,” Eileen said, coming up to the boat in the dock she knew Rapunzel always stole away too. “That could have been worse.”

Rapunzel turned, smiling slightly when she saw Eileen. “How was it?”

“Oh, you know,” Eileen said, climbing into the boat and taking a seat next to Rapunzel. “Had to wear a dress, so it was pretty shitty.”

“I think you look pretty in a dress.” Rapunzel said.

Eileen’s heart did a little twist. “Can’t fight well in a dress. Especially not a fancy royal one.”

“You’re not gonna need to fight.” Rapunzel smiled.

“I might start one. You never know, gotta keep things interesting around here.” Eileen said.

Rapunzel laughed, but it sounded hollow. Eileen leaned over to get a better look at her face. “You okay?” She asked.

“Yeah, great,” Rapunzel said. “Why wouldn’t I be?” 

Eileen gave her a look, and Rapunzel caved, sighing deeply. “It’s just...Eileen, is all this everything you dreamed it would be?”

“Hell no,” Eileen quipped before she could stop herself. “I have to wear a dress.”

“Be serious.” Rapunzel said.

Eileen sighed, knowing the answer to her question. She had hoped that eventually, her feelings would die away, and they could still be friends, but there was no such luck. If anything, she was more in love with her. “I mean…” Eileen paused, preparing her lie. “Yeah. It’s pretty great. It’s weird, but…” She trailed off, glancing at Rapunzel. “Why? Don’t you feel the same?”

“No! Yes! I mean, of course I do!” Rapunzel said immediately. “I just…” She sighed.

“Look, I know this has gotta be weird,” Eileen said. “No one’s expecting you to take it in overnight. But believe me, I’ve been just about anywhere you can go, and this is basically the top. The height of luxury. The castle, your family, our friends...what else could you possibly want?”

Rapunzel smiled, and it looked real this time. “Nothing.” She said.

Eileen smiled, her heart aching oddly, wishing something was different, wishing Rapunzel would look at her the same way she looked at Rapunzel when she was sure no one was watching, wishing they were far away from all responsibilities, because yeah, the castle life was fantastic but Eileen knew she would throw it away in a second if she knew she would be able to kiss Rapunzel-

“Time to go!”

Eileen jumped, stumbling overboard and into the water. She resurfaced, gasping, and glared at Cassandra. Cassandra smiled. “How’s the water, Ellie?”

“Dark and icy. Just like you. Sorry, I forgot you were deathly allergic to fun.” She snapped, crawling back into the boat. 

Cassandra chuckled. “Come on, Rapunzel, it’s time to head in. You don’t wanna be exhausted for tomorrow.”

“Right, my morning off!” She smiled, hugging Eileen goodbye quickly before climbing out, waving as she followed Cassandra back to the castle. She had been excited about going into town all week, and Eileen waved back, with only a little bit of irritation.

“Christ, she could have had any handmaiden,” Eileen muttered, wringing out her soaking hair. “But she got that one.”

*** *** ***

It was incredibly petty of Cassandra to take extra time out of her day to seat Eileen at the kids table, but she had to admit she admired her resolve.

“You’ll pay for this,” Eileen hissed as Cassandra passed. 

“Careful,” She said, her voice remarkably relaxed. “Don’t want to be a bad influence on the kids.”

“Alright,” Eileen said, standing up, brushing herself off. “I’m just gonna go get myself something to eat. Tell Rapunzel I’ll be right back.”

“Getting a bottle?” Cassandra asked.

“Wow, you’re really milking this one. Hilarious.” Eileen said dryly, waving her off.

She sighed, wandering the castle halls, picking up the hem of her dress so she didn’t trip over it. She refused to go through the humiliating experience of being poked and prodded by the tailors, so her dresses were always just a tiny bit too long. 

“You there!” Eileen turned, seeing yet a different noblewoman she didn’t recognize come up to her, an empty wine glass held delicately between her fingers. “Here, take this.” She shoved it into Eileen’s hands.

“I’m not a servant.” Eileen said, needing to remind herself yet again she wasn’t supposed to curse.

The noblewoman looked her up and down, and her face scrunched up in realization. “Oh...I’ve heard of you. You’re the princess’s commoner friend.”

“You-” Eileen took a breath, proud of herself for her control. “Yeah, you could say that. Eileen Fitzherbert.”

“Hmph,” The woman looked at Eileen as though she were a curiosity. Or a strange pet. “Lady Daria.” She said.

Eileen wasn’t sure if she was supposed to bow or not. She hoped she wasn’t supposed to kiss her hand. She settled for a jerky nod. Lady Daria didn’t seem to notice. “You know,” She said, voice drawling. “When I was her age, we weren’t really permitted to interact with the commoners.”

“Seems like a pretty bad way to rule.” Eileen said, glancing in the glass, disappointed to find it empty.

“Perhaps,” Lady Daria said. “But it did help us keep our manners.”

Eileen’s body seized, and with a tight smile, she let the glass slip from her fingers and fall to the ground. It shattered into big chunks, sparkling with menace in the castle lights. Lady Daria gasped, stepping back. “Whoops.” Eileen said sarcastically. 

Lady Daria glared. “You are a very rude girl.” She declared.

Eileen laughed. “That’s the best you can come up with? Seriously?”

Lady Daria’s face turned red, and she marched off, muttering to herself.

“Bitch.” Eileen said, only when she was sure she was alone, because calling her a bitch was the type of behavior that they really wouldn’t like. She had learned that quickly when she had whispered to Rapunzel over a trade meeting that the representative they were speaking to was, quote, “a weasel-faced looking bastard with an ass for a mouth”. 

Rapunzel thought it was funny. Her parents and the representative did not.

She sighed, leaning down and picking up the glass shards, because she did feel guilty about bothering the castle staff. She dumped the shards in the nearest decorative pot, circling her way back to the dining hall, picking up bits of conversation.

“-and suitors.” She heard the king say.

She froze in her place, feeling as though she had had the wind knocked out of her.

“Dad…” Rapunzel said.

Eileen pressed herself against the wall, listening closely, her heart beating so fast she was worried they would hear it.

“I know, I’m not pressuring you into anything,” The king said. “I just wanted you to be aware of the potential suitors at the coronation tomorrow.”

“I’m...really not interested in that right now.” Rapunzel said slowly.

“I know! I know. I just wanted you to know. And many of them really are nice young men, and who knows? Maybe you’ll make a friend.” The king said.

The queen laughed, saying something in a teasing tone, but Eileen didn’t hear it, her ears ringing. She turned around, walking away from the dining hall. 

She passed Cassandra. “Where to now, Ellie?” She called out.

“Stick a sock in it.” She snapped, proud of herself for not calling Cassandra a bitch.

“Jeez, what’s wrong with you?” Cassandra said, looking surprised.

Eileen turned to glare at her. “Are you going deaf? I said shut up.”

Cassandra made a face, but didn’t say anything else. Eileen didn’t wait for a response, certain if she stayed any longer, she would explode.

Technically, Eileen didn’t live in the palace. Technically. But she didn’t really have anywhere else to go, and had sort of claimed a spare room as her own, all her meager possessions strewn around messily, because even that little bit of chaos was oddly comforting.

She ducked inside the room, slamming the door shut. She leaned back against it, sliding down with her head in her hands.

It was stupid. It was so stupid to get upset over something she knew would come eventually. Rapunzel was a princess. And princesses got married to nice princes. And she was the princess’s friend. The princess’s commoner friend who swore, who laughed too loud, who was a bad influence, who picked fights with the princess’s lady-in-waiting and snuck down to the kitchen to take food instead of just asking for it because she hated that and...and…

She wasn’t this selfish, she couldn’t be this selfish. Because Flynn Rider was selfish and would do something about this but she didn’t want to be Flynn Rider anymore, because Flynn Rider was a bad person. She hurt people, used people, and didn’t care about anyone but herself. Eileen Fitzherbert was still lonely, but less so, and she was better. She smiled more, had more life, and people cared about her. But she was still so, so selfish, because in spite of her best efforts, she still loved Rapunzel.

Her breathing was wheezy, and she felt nauseous. She bit down on her knuckles, trying to collect herself. The room was too small, and she needed...she needed…

_She needed to get out of this fucking dress._

She practically ripped it off, knowing the servants would hate her for just tossing it on the ground because it’s _expensive imported fabric, have you any idea how much it costs?!_

Eileen pulled on her shirt and pants, feeling only marginally better, but at least she could breathe again. 

“Fucking hell.” She said to herself, running her hands through her hair so it stuck up in scattered directions, as though she had been struck by lightning. She stared at herself in the mirror, wanting to break it into a million pieces like the wine glass. “Pretty my ass.” She muttered, feeling oddly angry about Rapunzel’s compliment.

She collapsed on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. She had no right to be upset. She should be happy for Rapunzel. Never before had there been such a block like this. She’d always been able to push her feelings aside and smile before.

But Eileen knew if she went back out there tonight, she was going to do something stupid.

“God, I hate being me.” She said. 

She wasn’t sure how long she spent staring at the ceiling before there was a knock at her door. “Go away Cassandra!” She shouted.

“It’s me.” Rapunzel’s voice said.

Eileen paused, and then sighed. “Come in.” 

The door opened, and Rapunzel slipped in. “I missed you at dinner.”

“I was at the kid’s table.” Eileen said.

“Still. What happened?” Rapunzel asked.

“I felt sick.” Eileen said lamely.

Rapunzel was quiet, sitting next to Eileen and picking at the blanket. “Cassandra said you seemed upset.”

“Cassandra makes me upset.” Eileen said.

Rapunzel sighed. “Eileen…”

“Can you please not scold me on this?! I’m not in the mood.” She snapped.

Rapunzel blinked, looking surprised. “Oh,” She said, and she nodded. “Alright, sorry. I’ll...leave you alone.”

She slowly stood up, walking out and closing the door behind her.

Eileen sighed. “Fuck.”

*** *** ***

Eileen hauled herself up onto Rapunzel's balcony, hoping the guards wouldn’t see her. They probably wouldn’t recognize it was her, and she didn’t want an arrow in her ass. 

Sure, technically, she could just go through the door, but the guards Stan and Pete were quite adamant about not letting her in, and it was fun to do something stupid. Rapunzel found her dangerous visits frustratingly endearing. 

“Rapunzel?” She whispered, knocking on the glass door to her room. No answer, but when she tried the door, it was unlocked. If Rapunzel wanted to be left alone, she always locked it.

She crept in, looking around the room. “Rapunzel?” She asked again.

Something lit up behind her, and she turned to see Rapunzel’s silhouette behind the folding screen. She let out a breath. “Oh, good, you’re still awake. Look, I…” She sighed.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you. I don’t...I don’t know what came over me,” Rapunzel didn’t respond, and Eileen shuffled. “Look, the truth is...I might’ve lied about how well I’m adjusting too. I mean, it’s...just all so new. And weird. And all these little rules and stuff, and I don’t know if a salad fork actually exists or everyone’s just playing a joke on me.” She chuckled.

“I just...feel really out of place, I guess. But I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I’m sorry.” She was still, waiting for a response. 

Instead, Rapunzel’s head fell off.

She shrieked, rushing forward and pushing the screen aside. It was Pascal, standing on a mannequin, looking guilty. Eileen sighed. “Great. I poured my heart out to a lizard. Where’s Rapunzel?”

Pascal shrugged.

“You don’t-?! You do realize the king will lose his mind when he finds out, right?” Eileen asked, offering her hand to Pascal, who climbed on and scuttled up to her shoulder. 

She sighed, quietly rushing out to the balcony and climbing back to her room. “We need to find her, now,” Pascal squeaked urgently, and Eileen sighed deeply. “I don’t speak lizard.”

She rushed out, opening the first door she saw. “Rapunzel? Are you in here?”

“Is who in there?” Eileen jumped at the king’s voice, and she slammed the door shut.

“Nothing!” She said immediately, slamming the door shut. The king gave her a dubious look.

She would never tell Rapunzel this, but...well, the king scared her. The queen was sweet, and Eileen liked to think she had made a good impression on her, but...well, this was the king. Sometimes when he looked at her with irritation whenever she swore or slipped up, Eileen could almost feel the ghost of a noose around her neck.

“It’s...just a thing I do,” Eileen said lamely. “Checking in on everything, you know.”

“Mhm,” The king said doubtfully, turning away. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to check on Rapunzel-”

“You can’t!” Eileen jumped in front of him, and her mouth went dry when he looked down at her in surprise. “I mean...you can. You can do whatever you want, you’re the king, but…” she panicked for a moment. “Rapunzel’s just...really tired, and I think she wants to be alone…”

“I’ll only be a second.” The king said, going around her, but Eileen stepped in front of him again.

“Really tired!” She said, stepping back when the king actually looked irritated with her now. “I...was just trying to respect her wishes, but...you are the king, so…” She shrugged, praying that the new ploy would work.

After what felt like an eternity, the king sighed, and stepped back. “I...suppose you’re right. It’s been a busy past few days.” 

Eileen let out a sigh of relief. “Right. Of course. And tomorrow’s the coronation...fun…”

The king gave a nod, walking away. Eileen glanced at Pascal, who looked just as relieved. “Christ,” Eileen muttered to herself. “Rapunzel’s gonna give me grey hair before I’m even thirty.”

*** *** ***

It was morning when Eileen realized the guards had left Rapunzel’s door, and she heard quiet, rapid talking from inside. She knocked. “Rapunzel? Are you in there?” She asked, feeling relieved.

She heard more whispering, sounding frantic. “Come on,” She said. “I’ve been looking for you all night. You know I can hear you, right?”

Eileen heard more shuffling, and then a surprised yelp. “Rapunzel?!” She knocked on the door, only to get no answer. “Rapunzel-screw it. I’m coming in!”

She threw herself against the door, surprised with how easily it opened, they should really get that fixed-

She froze, seeing Rapunzel, Cassandra, and Maximus standing in her room, all of them looking nervous and guilty, surrounded by a seemingly endless amount of blonde hair. 

It was everywhere, spreading around like a snake that was slowly swallowing up everything. “What in the hell-” Eileen croaked.

Rapunzel giggled nervously. “Surprise.”

“Alright,” Eileen said, slowly sitting down in the nearest chair, feeling a bit lightheaded. “Okay okay okay! This is new. No, not new, because...well, it’s new now…you know what I mean. It’s...that magic thing, right?” She glanced up at Rapunzel, and then shook her head. “Or not? I don’t know, it was never too clear to me-”

She put her head in her hands, trying to collect herself. “Oh my God,” She said. “What happened?! No, I mean...you don’t have to tell me. I mean, I want to know, but you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but if you do, I’d really appreciate it because I do really want to know and-” She forced herself to take a breath. “I’ll stop talking now.”

Rapunzel gave a wobbly smile. “Thank you for understanding.”

“That’s not-fuck!” She groaned. “I thought we trusted each other!”

“We do!” Rapunzel said. “I do! It’s just…”

“Fine, fine, alright, I can’t make you tell me what happened, but obviously you’re keeping something from me,” She sighed, forcing herself to smile. “But whatever it is, I just want you to know you don’t have to hide anything from me.”

Rapunzel smiled gratefully. 

“And you shouldn’t have to hide things from the people you love.” Eileen said.

There was a knock at Rapunzel’s door. “Rapunzel? Are you in here?” The queen asked softly.

Eileen shot to her feet. “Shit-we gotta hide this.”

Rapunzel made a face. “You just said-”

“There’s always exceptions.” Eileen said, rushing to gather up hair with Cassandra.

“Rapunzel?” The queen called, trying to open the door, but Maximus and Pascal were blocking it. “Can I come in?”

“No! I’m...brushing my teeth!” Rapunzel said lamely.

Eileen and Cassandra glanced at each other.

“Oh, alright…” The queen said, sounding slightly unsure. “Then...I can still come in, can’t I?”

“Believe me, mom, you don’t want to,” Rapunzel said. “Morning breath...don’t want to expose you to that!”

Rapunzel glanced at Eileen for support, but Eileen shook her head. “That was really bad.” She whispered.

“That’s...thoughtful of you,” The queen said. “Um...Dad and I want you to join us on the terrace for breakfast.”

“Um…” Rapunzel glanced at Eileen and Cassandra, who both rapidly shook their heads. “I don’t know. There’s still a lot of stuff I have to do to get ready.”

“Well, your father has something very important he wants to share with you,” The queen said. “He’s been waiting all night.”

“Yeah, sure,” Rapunzel said slowly. “I’ll...meet you there in a minute?” 

“...alright.” The queen said, and Rapunzel groaned, tugging her newly grown blonde hair.

“The coronation is in two hours,” She said. “How am I supposed to cut this hair?!”

“It won’t cut?” Eileen asked, and Cassandra held up a bent dagger. Eileen’s stomach dropped. “Shit. Wait, why do you have that?!”

Cassandra ignored her, and then paused, a small smile coming to her face. “I think I have an idea.”

*** *** ***

“Why,” Eileen said not long after they had sent Rapunzel off with an obnoxious wig to cover her hair. “What a surprise to see you here!”

Cassandra glanced up at her, looking disinterested and suspicious, and then went back to sewing the sleeves of a dress. 

Eileen wandered aimlessly, pretending to be interested in a vase full of flowers, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet. Cassandra ignored her still.

“Oh, come on,” Eileen groaned, turning to face her. “What’s going on with Rapunzel?! Is it something I did?”

“Probably.” Cassandra said unhelpfully.

“And since when did she start keeping secrets from me?” Eileen asked, pacing.

“Hey, Ellie, I need to get this dress done before the coronation,” Cassandra said, picking up the sleeves and examining them carefully. “So do you mind throwing your pity party somewhere else?”

“Look, Cassandra, I know you think I’m a bad influence.” Eileen said.

Cassandra sighed. “That’s not true. I just don’t like you.” She smiled to herself.

“I just wanna make sure she’s okay.” Eileen said.

“You don’t say.” Cassandra muttered, standing up.

“Of course!” Eileen said. “I want her to be safe. Happy. Taken care of. You know, the works.” 

“Then maybe,” Cassandra said, glancing back as she opened the door. “Maybe try to stop running off and picking fights with people. It doesn’t exactly make for a stress free environment if she’s constantly worried about what trouble you’re stirring up.”

Eileen opened her mouth, and closed it. Cassandra shrugged, closing the door after her. 

Eileen sighed, sitting down on the couch. She heard a tiny hiss, and realized Pascal was on the couch too, giving her a look.

“Don’t you start.” She said. 

*** *** ***

Eileen was doing a very good job avoiding any type of conversation. 

Being polite never quite seemed to work, so she had simply settled on shutting up and standing straight. She glanced at the clock, and held back a groan. Only five minutes had passed. She had hours to go in this damn dress. 

The doors of the hall opened, and Eileen turned, smiling widely when she saw Rapunzel, standing in all her glory. Only she could make that stupid wig look beautiful. Her stomach did a few flips.

Rapunzel stumbled, hindered by both the wig and shoes, and Eileen winced in sympathy. “How embarrassing for her,” Someone whispered to Eileen, and she saw the noblewoman who had laughed at Rapunzel the other day. “This is going to take forever.”

Eileen bit her lip to keep in a retort. Why did only the asshole nobility want to speak with her? There had to be at least one decent person here.

Finally, Rapunzel made it to the end of the hall, stumbling once again up the steps. “The wearer of the crown is a shining example of the promise that is Corona.” The tiny, wizened priest declared, kind enough to pretend to ignore her stumbling. Or maybe he didn’t see it. He did look at least one hundred years old. 

“An ambassador of goodwill to those visiting from afar, and an inspiration to those fortunate enough to live within her borders.” He said, and Eileen caught Rapunzel’s eye and gave her a thumbs up. Rapunzel smiled.

“But above all, the chief responsibility of the crown is to keep the people of Corona safe from dangers near and far. And there are many. This mandate is not to be taken lightly,” He coughed, continuing, but Eileen glanced to her left and saw Cassandra right next to her. 

She jerked her head over to the far left door, and Eileen looked over, seeing a man in an ill-fitting guard’s armor. She had never seen this guard before.

Her stomach dropped. 

“Attention please!” A loud voice shouted, and Eileen winced, recognizing the voice. 

“Dammit.” She muttered, ignoring the horrified looks of the nobility next to her. 

All hell broke loose. The fake guards converged on the crowd, and Eileen stumbled, lost in the panic. She easily spotted Lady Caine, though, the the unmistakable woman with hair the color of dried blood and a rose and skull tattoo stretching up her arm. 

“Release my guests at once!” The king demanded, and Lady Caine smirked.

“What’s the matter, Fred?” She asked. She started up the steps to the altar, and Eileen felt nauseous. “Am I ruining your little girl’s perfect day?”

Rapunzel stepped back, confused. “The duchess?”

Lady Caine laughed. “Oh, honey, I’m no duchess.” Eileen silently cursed herself, realizing only then that the laughing noblewoman had in fact been the criminal all along.

“I don’t understand.” Rapunzel said.

Lady Caine scoffed, and Eileen took a step forward, but a burly man stepped in front of her, grinning. She clenched her teeth. This damn dress!

“Of course you wouldn’t, Rapunzel,” Lady Caine said, swinging her sword with too much nonchalance. “But try to follow along. This is all your fault.”

“What?!” Rapunzel stepped back, and Lady Caine grinned.

“See, after your untimely disappearance, your father locked up every criminal in the kingdom,” She glared at the king. “Including a simple, petty thief. My father.”

She stepped down, circling the other nobles like a lion examining a limping baby antelope. “I saw him thrown into a cage and hauled off like some animal, never to be seen again,” She glanced up at Rapunzel and smiled. “So I thought I’d return the favor.” 

Eileen lurched forward, but the man grabbed her arm, easily twisting it back so Eileen risked a broken shoulder if she struggled. She held in a wince, just barely.

A jail carriage backed into the hall (how did they manage to fit a carriage?) and Lady Caine gestured to it. “Load ‘em up, boys!” She said, and her associates started filing the nobles inside, each seeming to take some sick satisfaction in the act. 

“Your turn, Your Majesty,” Lady Caine said, turning to the king, smiling when his face turned stony. “Oh, come now. You didn’t think we’d leave our prized pig in the pen, did you?” 

Two men rushed forward, grabbing the king. “Dad!” Rapunzel said, stepping forward.

“Rapunzel! Stay back!” Her father commanded. 

“But-” Rapunzel started, but her father shook her head.

“No. There is nothing you can do,” He said. “As your father and your king, I demand you to stay put.” The door to the carriage slammed shut with an ugly clang of finality.

Eileen tried to twist, but gritted her teeth when her arm was jerked back harshly. “Don’t be a hero, sweetheart.” The man said in a raspy voice.

Eileen looked up, and caught Rapunzel’s eye. It had a steely gleam in it, and despite the circumstances, Eileen’s heart stuttered.

“Sorry Dad,” Rapunzel said, reaching for her wig. “I can’t stay put.” She pulled the wig off, and her hair fell to the floor.

“Rapunzel!” The king yelled, partially out of shock, partially out of warning.

Eileen smiled.

“Let them go!” Rapunzel demanded. 

Lady Caine merely smiled. “It’s amazing what you can hide under those wigs, isn’t it, princess?” She hopped onto the carriage. “Let’s move out!”

Rapunzel gathered her hair, flinging out a strand in a well-practiced motion, wrapping it around the handle to the carriage and yanking the door off entirely. 

Lady Caine blinked in shock, and then scowled. “Now you’re just making me angry.”

“Good,” Rapunzel said. “Because I’m just getting started.” 

Eileen twisted her head back to grin at the man. “Just so you know, you’re fucked.” 

The man blinked, probably not expecting that, and Eileen jerked her head back as hard as she could, the back of her head colliding with the man’s nose. He stumbled back, letting go of her, and she deftly grabbed his sword. 

Cassandra sighed. “I’m in so much trouble after this.” She said, grabbing a candelabra and spinning it like a bow staff. 

“So you sure you can handle yourself?” Eileen asked, backed against Cassandra.

“Oh, I’ll manage.” She said, lunging at a man, easily incapacitating him with the candelabra. 

Eileen ducked when another man lunged at her, easily leaping up onto the decorative stones, parrying their blows easily. There was pounding on the door, the rest of the guards trying to get in. A battleaxe blocked it, but it didn’t look like it would hold long. 

One man lunged, and Eileen stumbled, stepping back on the hem of her dress and falling roughly. Her sword clattered to the ground, and she scrambled back.

“Eileen!” Eileen glanced up at her name, barely catching the frying pan that Rapunzel had tossed to her.

“Thanks!” She shouted, managing to block the blow from the sword. She kicked right under his kneecap, and he went down, giving her time to stand up and bash him over the head with the pan. 

There was a shout, and Eileen saw that Cassandra had pinned Lady Caine down with the candelabra. Rapunzel stepped up to her, looking angry. Lady Caine glowered. “You have no idea what you’re dealing with.” She growled.

Rapunzel merely glared back. “Believe me, I’ve dealt with much worse.”

Lady Caine jerked up, managing to free herself, sprinting to the door where the battleaxe still held firm. “You think this is over?!” She demanded, yanking the axe out. “I’ll be-”

The door burst open, and she was trampled by Maximus and several guards. Eileen laughed. “Aw, that’s a shame. I think we were finally becoming friends.”

Rapunzel rushed up to Maximus, looking relieved, and Cassandra and Eileen followed suit. They paused, suddenly realizing the nobles were cheering; for them. 

Eileen glanced at Rapunzel, who looked unsure. She gave her a nod, and the princess smiled widely. 

Eileen’s heart stuttered.

*** *** ***

“You know,” Eileen said to Cassandra. “I think this is one of the better royal parties I’ve been to.”

Cassandra rolled her eyes.

“I’m serious.” Eileen said, popping a grape into her mouth. The two were waiting out in the halls, the dusk casting long shadows down the walls as if long fingers were stretching to steal away the light.

“Think the king’s yelling at her?” Eileen asked. Rapunzel had been called to speak with her father alone, and it felt like the two had been waiting for her for hours.

“I don’t know,” Cassandra said. “I can bet he’s had a bad day.”

“Yeah, really,” Eileen said. “You expect a nice little coronation and you find out your daughter’s blonde again.”

“Do you ever take anything seriously?!” Cassandra asked.

“Not if I can help it.” Eileen smiled, perking up when she heard footsteps down the hall. Rapunzel was rushing towards them, head down, eyes hidden.

“Hey, did-” Cassandra stepped back in surprise when Rapunzel rushed past her without so much as an acknowledgement.

Eileen frowned, watching her go. “...probably didn’t go well then.”

“Probably not.” Cassandra agreed.

*** *** ***

Eileen knocked on the door to Rapunzel’s balcony, holding a small basket. Rapunzel looked up, and smiled very slightly, opening the door. “You have to stop doing that. You’ll fall.”

“It’s fun.” Eileen corrected. She walked in Rapunzel’s room, sitting cross legged on the ground and pulling two cupcakes out of the bag. “Look, we never got a fancy dessert. And that’s the best part of these parties. So I took it upon myself. Bon appetit.” 

Rapunzel smiled, sitting across from Eileen. Pascal, seated on her shoulder, flicked his tongue out and stole the little cherry on top of her cupcake. Eileen made a face. “Unsanitary.”

Pascal squeaked in protest.

“Look, I wanted to clear some things up,” Eileen said, forcing herself to remain serious. “I’m sorry for snapping at you the other night.”

“Well, bugging you about storming out probably wasn’t the best idea, so…” Rapunzel smiled nervously. “I’m sorry too.”

“No no no, don’t apologize,” Eileen said, waving her hands. “I...I dunno. It was all just a lot. I know I’m really good at pretending like this is all a big game but...you know. I guess...maybe I’ve been having some difficulties adjusting too.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Rapunzel asked.

“You had your own stuff to worry about. Way more responsibilities than me. It just felt...bad to dump more on you,” She admitted. “And last night...I don’t know. There was this stupid lady who thought I was a servant and it just...bugged me? It shouldn’t have, but it did.”

“I’m sorry, Eileen-” Rapunzel started, but Eileen cut her off.

“You don’t have to apologize for that either. It wasn’t your fault,” She sighed. “It’s just...really weird. But it’s pretty weird for both of us. So...we can just work through it together, right?”

Rapunzel smiled brightly, and it lit up the room like a roaring fire. “Right.” She said.

Eileen smiled back. “Good. I miss you. Hanging out with you. Like this.” She gestured to her cupcake, and noticed the cherry was gone. She glared at Pascal, who smiled innocently.

“Can you promise me something?” Rapunzel asked suddenly.

“Anything.” Eileen said immediately.

“That you won’t leave.” Rapunzel said.

Eileen chuckled. “Blondie, you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.”

Rapunzel smiled, relieved, taking a bite out of her cupcake.

“So today was educational,” Eileen said. “Turns out I can fight in a dress.”

“Think you might start wearing them now?” Rapunzel asked.

“Baby steps, Rapunzel, baby steps.”

**Author's Note:**

> no i WILL make the entire tangled series gay you just watch me 
> 
> follow my tumblr to chat and get updates!!!!
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/toadintheroad


End file.
